I Knew Before She Did
by SVUlovin99
Summary: Amanda is falling for Olivia...but she doesn't want to ruin there friendship, or scare Olivia away. Will Olivia feel the same? *SVU CHARACTERS BELONG TO DICK WOLF*
1. Feelings

**_Chapter 1 Feelings:_**

The blonde stared at the news paper clipping of the brunette. When she seen her in the news or anything it made her jealous and it also made her like the older woman even more. She was a detective for sex crimes and she had been honored by so many for what she did. She was just going on what she read and heard about her. She herself had never met her, but that was about to change because she was transferring to the NYPD. She was excited to meet the detective and see how she really was in action. After a long plane ride she was finally in New York. She made her way to the station where she'd be working. As soon as she walked she seen the famous Olivia Benson. She walked up to her and of course induced herself.

"Hi I'm Amanda Rollins. You must be Olivia Benson." She said in her cute little southern accent.

"Nice to meet you." She smiled and took Amanda's hand and shook it firmly. "You are Finn's new partner right?"

"Yes I am. I've been looking forward to meeting you. I have looked up to you since the first time I took a job in law enforcement." She smiled.

Olivia smiled back brightly, flattered of course but taken by surprise that someone so young was so interested in her.

"You are very kind. Thank you Rollins."

Olivia walked away to sit down at her desk and bury her nose in a mountain full of paper work, that she had been putting off for weeks. Amanda continued to watch Olivia in awe. The woman who she had been admiring through papers and files was finally sitting across from her and all Amanda thought was how beautiful she actually was in real life.

_"Pictures don't do her beauty justice- No, Amanda you can't think like that"_ She thought to herself while quickly trying to fixate her eyes on something else, as she glanced nonchalantly at her computer screen pretending to be doing something Fin appeared.

Fin had just left Captain Cragen's office, a new case had just been brought in. Amanda was secretly ecstatic at the fact she was going to see Olivia in action. She also felt pressure to nail this case because she was the "newbie" but most of all she really wanted to earn respect from Olivia.

Olivia and her new partner Nick Amaro went to sit next to Fin and Amanda, as Olivia sat down on Amanda's desk, Amanda felt a feeling she had never felt before. No one had made her feel that way, ever. She watched Olivia open the file to the case they were suppose to have.

"Okay so we have a 22 year old female, raped in her apartment late last night. Nick and me will head out to meet the victim at the hospital. Finn and Amanda go to the crime scene and see what you can find there." She said and closed the file stepping off Amanda's desk.

They all nodded and headed out.

After returning to work from their tasks they all sat by the board while Olivia and Nick hung up they Vic's photo and name.

"The victims name is Diane Carey. She gave us her statement and we found seaman. So this should a easy catch, let's just hope this perp has a past record."

"Are we just waiting for the test results?" Amanda said as she sat on her desk.

"Yes and after that we'll hopefully find out who this scumbag is."

After a few hours the DNA results were in and the guy had a past record, his name was Ralph Stephen. They arrested and booked him. Amanda walked into the square room has Olivia was grabbing her coat. But she didn't want the night to end just yet. She wanted to see more of Olivia. She knew she shouldn't, because she'd regret it later but she just felt like she had to.

"Heading him already?" Amanda asked her.

"No I was going to end over the nearest bar and had a drink. You want to join me?" Olivia smiled.

"I'd love too."

**_Reviews _**


	2. Flirtatious

**_Chapter 2: flirtatious_**

They soon reached the bar, it was Olivia's favourite one, she sat in the same spot every time. She was really looking forward to spending time with Amanda outside work but she didn't know why, maybe she just wanted to get to know her better.

As they sat down with their drinks they had collected from the bar, Amanda was still trying to get her head around the fact she was having a drink with the amazing Olivia Benson. Olivia didn't know what Amanda was thinking but she could see she was deep in thought.

"Whatcha got on your mind there?" Olivia asked trying to analyse Amanda's facial expressions as she answered the question.

"Nothing really, just been a strange day!" Amanda half lied, because all she could think about was how beautiful Olivia looked with her hair down, that's what was on her mind not 'nothing really' although it had been a strange day, a very strange day.

"I know, I used to hate changing jobs, would always be nerve wracking getting to know people, I don't think i'd ever like to change jobs again, if i'm honest" Olivia said, Amanda was shocked that Olivia could be nervous at some point. She then began to realise she is only human.

"You? nervous?" Amanda asked, smiling. "You've been in SVU for 14 years, right?" The blonde continued, sipping on her drink.

Olivia nodded. "Yup! Wouldn't have it any other way," she smiled, looking at her phone that lay on the table, it had just notified her she had a text. It was Fin, asking where they were. "Fin is wondering where we are, shall we invite the men tonight?" Olivia asked.

Amanda nodded and smiled. Even though she wanted to spend time alone with Olivia she didn't want to seem mean, after all Fin was her partner and she really got along with him well, the whole day she has known him. "How does it feel no longer being the only girl in the squad, now?" Amanda chuckled.

Olivia laughed, "It's a relief, finally I have someone to vent to about the guys - someone that isn't a guy!" Olivia was really happy when she found out a woman would be joining them.

Fin walked in, along with Nick and John, "same again, guys?" Fin shouted over to Olivia and Amanda who were sitting in the far corner, Olivia chuckled as she nodded her head.

"They even call us guys!" Amanda laughed, she could tell she was really going to enjoy her new job.

Olivia nodded, "Tell me about it, I'm beginning to get a complex!" Olivia laughed, jokingly. She could tell her and Amanda were going to get on really well.

Fin, Nick and John came and sat next to them, handing out the drinks. "You're buying the next round, Olivia" Fin said, laughing. Olivia and Fin had always got on really well, he always had her back, no matter what the problem was. Amanda felt a little jealous and the chemistry and banter between them, even though it was just friendly. Best friends, you could say. Finn walked away from the bar to go shoot pool and talk to the guys.

"You and Finn are real close aren't you?"

"We've got a brotherly sister kinda love. It's nice ya know?"

Amanda shook her head understanding what she meant. She was still extremely jealous of what that had between them.

After one-two many shots Amanda decided to let some of her feels out.

"You're really pretty you know that?" Amanda said to Olivia.

"Thank you very much. I appreciate a young gorgeous girl like yourself telling a older woman like me that I'm still pretty." Olivia slightly laughed as she turned the beer bottle in her hand.

"I shouldn't be the only one that thinks that. I bet everyone sits there and is like 'wow she's flawless'." Amanda shyly said.

Olivia smiled brightly and got a little red faced. She liked being complimented it made her feel good about herself. As she got older she felt less and less attractive, so for a younger woman to think she was good looking was a huge complaint.

Amanda watched Olivia's reaction to the things she was saying. She seemed to like the complaints, and  
She didn't have a hard time saying those kinds of things to Olivia because it was all so true. She was flawless and absolutely perfect in every way. '_I shouldn't be thinking those things. She's my coworker and she's straight. I just can't.'_ Amanda thought to herself. She figured she should get out of there before she would just spill to Olivia.

"Olivia a got a question."

"Yeah?"

"If you have some sort of feelings or attraction for a person that works with you or might not even like the same sex as you, what would you do?"

"Honestly, I've been down the whole sleeping with coworkers thing.. It's difficult. But, you don't want to regret not saying anything. They could be that one that got away one day. So if I were you I'd just go for it. Who knows maybe they'll like the same things you do." She winked at Amanda.

"Thanks for the advice. I might actually to that." She smiled.

"I think it's time for me to head home."

"Me to. Let me walk you to a taxi?"

Olivia nodded and both woman said goodbye to everyone and left the bar. After getting a taxi and standing in front of it. Amanda did that one stupid thing she wished she shouldn't have... Before Olivia got in the taxi Amanda grabbed her and kissed her hard... On the lips...


	3. Mistakes

_**Chapter 3: Mistakes**_

As Amanda was kissing Olivia neither had pulled away. The kiss intensified and was more passionate then a normal kiss and Olivia was actually kissing her back. She hasn't pulled away nor did she make an effort to. Olivia pulled away once Amanda slipped her tongue in her mouth.

"I...umm...I have to go." Olivia said as she got into the taxi.

'I just fucked up...' Amanda thought to herself as she touched her lips.

Amanda felt her phone vibrate as she watched the taxi disappear in the distance.

"What was that..?" Olivia asked quietly.

"I honestly don't know. I'm sorry Olivia."

"I don't know if I want you to e sorry..."

Amanda smiled to herself. Did Olivia want that? Did she want the kiss to happen? Did she like it?

"You're a good kisser." Olivia said while smiling through the phone.

"You're better." She smiled.

"I've never kissed a woman." She paused for a little. "It was nice. I liked it."

"I'm glad. I loved it."

"We should talk about this in person.. So turn around."

She turned around and seen Olivia standing there with a big smile in her face. She looked so gorgeous in the moonlight.

They spoke for hours in the pub, about anything and everything, getting to know each other in detail. Olivia learned about Amanda's gaming problems and Amanda learned about Olivia's partnership with Elliot. They drank until Olivia knew she had gone over-board and had to go home because she was up for work in less than 7 hours. As they were leaving the pub, Amanda turned to face Olivia and they stared into each other's eyes, not saying a word. Amanda moved in and kissed Olivia, Olivia didn't pull away, she closed her eye's and let Amanda do the kissing. Olivia's cab arrived, as Olivia pulled away.

"I.. Um.. Gotta go" Olivia said, trying to string a sentence together, she was overcome with emotion she had never felt before. "I'll.. um... see you in the morning" Olivia smiled as she walked away.

"Yeah, okay, good night" Amanda said calling after Olivia, smiling. Amanda sighed a massive sigh of relief. She had done it. She kissed Olivia Benson, TWICE. She was so confused about her sexuality now but that kiss felt so right and she knew Olivia felt the same.

Olivia woke up the next again morning, groaning as she picked up her phone to see if anyone had called. She felt her head pounding; she knew she had drank far too much the previous night. As she got out of bed she remembered what happened with Amanda, she went for a shower and tried to freshen up before she had to show face in the precinct

At the precinct, Amanda had already arrived, she had a massive smile on her face and a spring in her step, Fin walked in and noticed how surprisingly happy Amanda was at 7am. "What's got you so happy?" Fin asked, teasingly.

"Just had a good night last night." Amanda said, smiling, almost giggling. "Where's Liv?" Amanda asked.

"Not too sure, why?" Fin asked, confused. He looked at Amanda who was watching the door, she heard someone walking in.

"I got the coffee's this morning, your turn tomorrow, Rollins!" Olivia said, almost as happy and enthusiastic as Amanda was.

"Did someone put something in your coffee's this morning?" Fin asked, laughing.

"No, just happy, that's all" Olivia laughed off, walking towards her step. Olivia pulled out her phone and texted Amanda because Fin was in the room and Nick and John had just entered, she didn't want anything to seem too obvious because Olivia herself wasn't even sure what was going on.

"_We need to talk, xx_" Amanda read on her screen, trying to avoid the urge to lift her head and smile at Olivia. She also didn't text back because she assumed Olivia's phone wasn't on silent. Amanda left the office and headed for the car, hoping Olivia took the hint and waited a few minutes to follow her.

"Captain, I'm just heading out to get donuts, phone my cell if you need me" Olivia shouted to Captain Cragen. Fin smiled cheekily as Olivia walked past, she just looked at him oddly and laughed.

"Didn't know if you had got the hint" Amanda laughed as Olivia jumped in the elevator with her.

"I'm a detective, of course I got the hint!" Olivia said laughing, light heartily. "Oh, you need to come with me to get donuts because we need to talk." Olivia continued. She smiled at Amanda, Amanda just smiled back.

"And a good one you are too" Amanda said, still smiling at Olivia but quickly looking to the ground before Olivia could say anything, Amanda looked sad, scared almost.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Olivia said, tilting Amanda's head up towards her face. Looking into her eyes she could see Amanda wasn't okay.

"You said we need to talk, I think I know what you're going to say..." Amanda said but was cut off by Olivia kissing her lips, she pulled away as soon as the elevator door pinged open seeing an old friend of Olivia's…


	4. Blast From The Past

As the doors to elevators open Olivia sees a person she hasn't seen in almost a year.

"Elliot."

"Olivia."

She walked out and gave him a hug. She pulled Amanda out by her hand and she held her hand never letting go.

"This is Amanda, my girlfriend. What are you doing here?"

Amanda looked at her shocked at what she had called her. She shook Elliot's hand and smiled.

"I got your voicemails and I wanted to drop by to see you. I figured you'd be at work not home."

"Well, I'm busy Elliot. So I'll see you later."

Olivia still holding Amanda's hand pulled her away. She walked still hand in hand with her. _'They were at work. Did she not care what others thought?' _Amanda thought as they got to the car.

"What was that?" she asked.

"I was just telling him the truth. I mean unless you don't want to be my girlfriend." Olivia smirked.

Amanda smiled and got into the car as they drove away from the station. They were finally going to talk. They were finally dating something Amanda had never dreamed would happen. She had just started work but she felt like she knew Olivia so much already.

As they arrived at the donut store, Amanda went in to get the donuts while Olivia sat in the car. She began texting Nick telling him Amanda was with her but she guessed Elliot would have already told the squad.

"Oh my god, what if Elliot has told them me and Amanda are together? Would he do that? What if-?" Olivia thought to herself, her mind going into over drive. It was a spur of the moment thing, saying what she had said about her relationship with Amanda, as they hadn't even discussed it with her. Olivia was just angry with how Elliot hurt her by leaving like he did. Olivia's thoughts were interrupted by Amanda getting back into the car.

Olivia turned off the stereo in the car and turned to face Amanda. "Are you sure this is what you want?" Olivia asked, seriously.

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life," Amanda said, happy, ecstatic almost. Olivia knew Amanda looked up to her from the moment Amanda stepped into the office. Amanda had gone over every one of Olivia's cases from the past, she couldn't believe how good a detective she was and Amanda wanted to be just like her.

"It's gonna be a rough road ahead, you know? When we have to tell the Captain, and now Elliot knows.." Olivia began to speed up her sentences, panicking almost. Amanda put her finger on Olivia's lips.

"Shhhh, we don't have to do any of that just yet, we don't have to tell anyone, I mean will your partner day anything?" Amanda asked, trying to reassure Liv that everything was going to be okay.

"I don't think he will, or no one will believe him.. I think?" Olivia said, almost sounding like she was asking Amanda, "I trust him, well I did..." This time Amanda cut Olivia off by kissing her.

"What was that for?" Olivia asked, shocked, taken back by why just happened. As much as she liked it and wanted to do it again, she was nervous. Olivia had only ever dated men before, for once Amanda was the confident one, the one in control.

"I felt like it, girlfriend" Amanda said, almost laughing, she was giggling like a school girl would.

"So that's how your gonna play it, detective?" Olivia replied, almost teasing Amanda.

"Detective?" Amanda asked, confused yet still finding it funny. She got this feeling in her stomach that she had never felt before when Olivia spoke which made her turn into a giggling mess, she couldn't control it.

"Yep, that's what you are right? Detective? or am I missing something?" Olivia said laughing; Amanda knew she was joking by the tone of Liv's voice.

"You're hilarious!" Amanda said, sarcastically, realizing that Olivia was only being playful. Amanda liked this side of her but she also liked the fierce side which she seen at work.

"I know I am, I should have been a comedian," Olivia joked.

"And I'd have front row seats every night," Amanda said, winking, leaning closer to Olivia waiting for Olivia to kiss her, which after three seconds of staring into each other's eyes Olivia finally gave in and leaned in for the kiss. Olivia pulled away.

"We better get back before the send the cops out looking for us," Olivia said, laughing at what she just said. Amanda joined in laughing.

As they arrived back at the precinct, they walked in giggling. Amanda was carrying the donuts and Olivia had the coffee's, which by this point were freezing. Everyone turned around and looked.

"Finally, took your time, didn't you?" Fin said, teasing the girls as they walked into the open plan office area. Amanda and Olivia just laughed. "You see who is in with the captain?" Fin continued.

"Yeah, seen him in the elevator" Olivia said, emotionless. Amanda didn't think anyone's mood could change so quickly. She knew how Elliot had left, she knew how close they used to be, she understood.

"What's up?" Fin asked, realizing how quickly, Olivia's mood deteriorated.

"Nothing, I'm fine, better than fine actually" Olivia replied, smiling and looking at Amanda. Fin had a suspicion something was going on, he just didn't know what. It was his new mission to find out.

"You's two are quite close, stealing my partner, Benson?" Fin asked playfully, fishing for more information.

"I wish, she's a good detective, Fin. I've got Amaro here though; he keeps me on my toes!" Olivia said, nudging Amaro.

"Thanks, you're an alright copper yourself, Benson!" Amanda shouted over, laughing, playfully.

"What am I missing?!" Munch said as he walked over. He was looking at the board where they had pictures of their recent victim.

"Just Benson trying to steal my partner, nothing big!" Fin said, keeping the mood light.

Captain Cragen's door swung open. Elliot appeared. The atmosphere in the station could have been cut with a knife, it was there and made sure its presence was noticeable.

"So is this your new partner, Benson?" Elliot asked looking at Olivia.

"Why are you here?" Olivia asked, furious that Elliot thinks he could just walk in and out of her life like he did.

"Liv, don't be like that!" Elliot shot back.

"Don't be like that? You left me Elliot after 12 years, you walked out of my life. Without even as much as a good bye." Olivia stood up out of her seat. "I hate you for that, that'll never change." Olivia said holding back the years. Amanda realised how upset she was. She desperately wanted to give her a cuddle but knew she couldn't. Olivia turned around and walked out the office, and headed for the interrogation room. Amanda followed.

"You okay, baby?" Amanda asked. She had never seen Olivia upset before. It was killing her.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine now your here." Olivia said, cuddling into Amanda's shoulder.

"I'm always gonna be here. I promise" Amanda said, stroking Olivia's long brunette hair. "Always."


	5. I Use To

Olivia sat on her couch after handing Amanda a beer. The day had gone by quickly and had been difficult with Elliot up everyone's ass. She smiled at her unsure what to say. She didn't know if she should say sorry for everything with Elliot or just let it go.

"I'm sorry about the whole Elliot thing. I don't know what the hell he is doing back here."

Amanda smiled slightly and looked away. She had heard from other coworkers and such that Olivia and Elliot had a special bond. She wasn't sure if it was sexual or if it was just a friendship type of thing. She thought to herself '_only way to know Amanda is to ask, duh.' _She looked back at Olivia.

"Yeah so about you two…were you guys something?"

She looked at her shocked and then shook her head.

"No no no. At point it was something I wanted, I was in love with him…I really was. Then he left me alone… When he did that I noticed he couldn't have loved me back if he could just leave after 12 years of partnership and friendship. He was the only man I trusted with my life." She let out a sigh as she wiped eyes.

Amanda looked at her. How couldn't he love her? How could he leave her? She was perfect, everything about her was just perfection. He was lucky that he had her for that long. He didn't deserve her though.

"I'm sorry. I just heard people talking and stuff." She said as she out her hand on top of Olivia's.

Olivia smiled and leaned in and kissed her lightly. Amanda looked at her watch and then stood up.

"Well it's getting late. So I better go. Night babe." She said as she leaned in and kissed Olivia.

"Night." She smiled as she watched Amanda walk out.

She sat there thinking about the past memoires between Elliot and her. She thought about the feelings she once had for him. Everything they had been through… She thought back to the one thing he had said to her… _'I'm your partner for better or worse.' _But then he just walked away from her…he just left. She jumped out of her thoughts when there was a knock at the door. She got up and opened it.

"Elliot."

"Olivia."

"What do you want?"

"What was that at the station and since when are you gay? I sure did miss a lot."

She rolled her eyes and felt anger taking over. She knew she was going to flip on him and say things she would regret.

"What was that at the station? That my friend was called hate, I hate you. You ruined me, you have physically and mentally ruined my life. I don't even think I'll be able to trust anyone ever again. I trusted you…like no other person. But no you had to go and fuck me over. I knew you would I mean in all reality I knew it. I fell in love with you and then you left. I like Amanda I feel like I can trust her and I've never felt this way about a woman ever. So yeah you fucking missed a lot. Now as much as I would love to stand here and fight with some self-centered prick, I have to go to bed for work…you know the job I NEVER left." She turned to leave but he grabbed her arm.

"You love me?" He looked into her eyes.

"I loved you. I loved who you use to be." She pulled her arm out of his hand and slammed her door.

As Olivia slammed the door she felt tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. That feeling she didn't want to be there was there. She wasn't sure if it was love or hate or both. In her head she hated his guts but her heart said something completely different. Olivia hated the fact she couldn't control her feelings. She pulled herself together and walked towards her phone.

"I miss you already xxx" Olivia wrote and pressed send.

Amanda sat alone in her apartment, wondering what Olivia was doing and what she was thinking. Amanda felt really guilty for asking about Elliot, she knew he walked out and left her and she was broken, she just never showed it or admitted it. The more Amanda began to get know Olivia she realized that Olivia never showed much feeling, she always tried to cover it up, Nick sometimes caught her out but whenever he asked she would just say she was fine, even when she wasn't. Amanda's phone buzzed, her face lit up and a smile grew across her face. She was happy that Olivia actually missed her. In a way it reassured her they were actually together, rather than Olivia just trying to get back at Elliot. Amanda had her suspicions but just pushed them to that back of her mind, she was just going to enjoy the 'relationship' for now whether or not it was for Elliot's sake. She didn't think Olivia was that manipulative? She didn't think she was manipulative at all if she was honest.

She happily texted Olivia back _'I miss you more xxx'_ she wrote, she was anxious of the wait because of how cringey and cheesy she thought she sounded but she was just being honest. She knew deep down she really did miss Olivia more than Olivia missed her.

It was early, it was only about 8pm, not too late not to do anything. _'Wanna grab a movie and a bit to eat at mines? Xxx' _Olivia texted back, she really needed some comfort after her encounter with Elliot earlier on that day. She needed Amanda.

'_Sure, I'll be round in half an hour. I'll grab some munchies from the store xxx'_ Amanda replied, feeling rather excited to be spending the evening with Olivia, she was overwhelmed because of how everything was working out. Her new life in New York was amazing and she had never been happier.

'_Okay, see you then xxx'_ Olivia replied, feeling a bit better that Amanda was coming round she just couldn't face being alone at that moment, her thoughts were driving her crazy, she couldn't get Elliot out of her head. She hated him, she really did but he was a constant part of her life for twelve years, and because of that she was struggling to forget him.

Half an hour later there was a knock on the door. Olivia got off the couch and looked through the peep hole. It was Amanda with a bag full of munchies for them to enjoy the evening. Olivia put a chick flick on. Her phone began to ring, it was Elliot. She rejected the call and switched her phone off. She was with the one she needed now.


End file.
